HP and the Unorthodox Plot That Has No End
by Snibe
Summary: An amusing parody for all of you to enjoy. Harry is stuck in a mysterious.. world, shall we say.. and can't get out.. Unless he spends an entire chapter.. or rather day in each vortex. Complicated, but well worth the read.. honest! :P


**Harry Potter and the Unorthodox Plot That Has No End**

**Authors note: Don't get me wrong. I adore Harry Potter and they say imitation is the best form of flattery. Now I don't want to read flames complaining about a misspelling here and there. This is for my amusement and I thought (being the friendly person I am) I would hopefully share the amusement with you too. So, enjoy and give me a wonderful review! (...Or at least one with constructive criticism.) By the by, this chapter is short because... Well, it's an introduction. Oh, not forgetting that I own _nada_.**

**Introduction**

Harry woke up with a start. Wait no, a finish. Harry woke up with a finish. His scar was burning yet again. He grumbled and wondered why every book seemed to involve pain on his account. He muttered something about fan-fictions then realised he had been sleeping on a hot metal rod. Ahh, that explained everything.

He shooed the metal off his bed and woke up. Where on earth was he? He thought. From all this wondering and thinking Harry did, you may think that he is a thoughtful, intelligent boy. By the second paragraph - if I was JK Rowling - I would go into a lovely description on who Harry Potter was, what he was and his entire life story crammed into a few sentences. Well, I'm not JK Rowling. If you have no idea about this Potter guy, READ THE FREAKIN' BOOKS.

"Shut up.." said Harry, to the narrator. The narrator glared back.

"I'm not even meant to HEAR you, let alone see you." he continued. The narrator shrugged and ignored Harry. Of course, you are probably completely confused at how this story is going. And, as the writer, I'm confused too. On with the story.

Harry glanced from left to right and realised he was not at home. Harry screamed profanities at the top of his lungs.

"PROFANITIES!" he cried. Magically (Of course, since this is a fantasy themed story.), a weird creature appeared. He closely resembled Yoda from Star Wars crossed with an Orc from Lord Of The Rings. I'd rather save you the dull details and let you imagine it yourself. Don't think I'm feeding you descriptions on a plate.

"Wow, It's Yoda from Star Wars crossed with an Orc from Lord Of The Ring!" gasped Harry.

"Don't be stupid. It's Ron." said Ron formerly known as Yoda from Star Wars crossed with an Orc from Lord of the Rings.

"Yeah, that's getting old now. Stop it." whispered Harry. The narrator apologised. "Ron, do you know where we are?"

"Not a... profanity." came the reply. Harry gasped. The reader gasped. The entire filming crew of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix gasped.

"Yeah, I'm not going to swear for an entire book. I mean.. year." said Ron. He sat down on the bed. "Yeah, I always slip a swear word here and there and it irritates me. Instead, I'll express myself through the art... of dance!" He jumped up again and twirled.

The reader cheered, pleased to hear that instead of random swearing, we'll see random dancing instead. Random dancing is much more interesting!

Harry winced a little, trying hard to ignore that his best friend had turned into the magic version of Billy Elliott. He stared at the walls hard. The Walls melted.

"Oh yeah. That's what I forgot to tell you. We're in a mysterious world and we can't get out. My dad told me this morning not to visit you because of that, but I thought he was joking." said Ron.

"Oh, profanity." said Harry. Ron disappeared. That's strange, thought Harry. "Profanity?" Pop. Ron was back.

"Stop it. That's the new magic spell that Deadbledore invented to make me go away."

Harry gasped. Millions of slow readers cried. The entire mystery of who died in HP Six was all gone.

"Yeah, I was never quite sure why he invented it. Maybe he got mad because I ruined the book for him too." yawned Ron.

Harry ignored him yet again and decided to wander out of the door which he had somehow mistaken for a cupboard. He opened the door and... OH EM GEE! Narnia! ...Just kidding. He opened the door and saw... A never ending corridor of doors. He beckoned to Ron to follow him and he ventured into one.

"Welcome to Portal One. To escape these worlds, you must complete the totally dull task of spending an entire chapter in each portal. Once you have done this, the portal will lock, leading you on to the next one." said a robotic, female voice.

"...What do I get out of this exactly?" questioned Harry.

"...Umm.. a prize! ...Yeah, a prize."

"So, it's like a dodgy import of a Pokemon game?" asked Ron.

"No. Definitely not."

"Well, I guess we better get started then..." sighed Harry.


End file.
